In the beginning God created Texas and we, by his grace, landed somewhere under it's left arm. As transplanted citizens of the splendor which is Simpleton, we are often awestruck at the ironies that exist in our slice of heaven (or the opposite, however you view it). The Simpleton natives take great pride in their community and if you can't see its glamourous charm then you must be blind or at least have only the intelligence of one of our hummingbird sized mosquitos.
In the suburbs of Simpleton there lies the quaint village of Wurztberg. The natives of this tiny hamlet consider it the spoke upon which our great state revolves. The privilege of residence in Wurztberg requires high intelligence, immaculate gardening skills, native blood or marriage to the same, at least two Suburbans and one 18-wheeler in your driveway, Nascar Club membership is optional but recommended.
To our south is the thriving entertainment capitol of our county. Swineland has the only dining facility in our county that is licensed to sell alcohol - membership, of course, is required. The BatCave is legendary for it's wonderful country music and up-and-coming octogenarian crooner, Pat Brown. Swineland is also home to two cotton ginning facilities which doubles that of the ginning industry in Wurtzberg. (Much to their chagrin.)
The eastern suburb of Simpleton is lovingly referred to as Poodleville. It's residents see themselves as superior athletes to all others. Despite its rather feminine moniker a large host of real and drug-store variety cowboys call Poodleville home.
On our county's western frontier looms the sprawling metropolis of Orgee. Yes, the activities in the evening are many but during the day-time hours the junior high principal and her groupies rule the roost. The most prosperous (and only) businesses in Orgee are the ice factory and the package store (beer joint). The package store is brand-spanking new and it's metal walls gleam in the Texas sunshine which can blind the vision of West bound Interstate travelers from the recently opened Orgee Expressway.